This conversation turned out to be quite fun as some friends and I enjoyed our afternoon tea and chat. It started off with one of the women telling us how she used to love making New Year’s resolutions. Nonetheless, usually by February, everything she’d wanted to achieve had not even gotten off the ground. She was never able to find the motivation to actively make any of the changes. As time passed, by she would feel frustrated and disappointed with herself and begin to beat herself up. The negative chatter would keep swirling around in her head until she could finally persuade herself that things would be different next year.
As the years rolled on by, finally at midlife she faced the truth: Resolutions just didn’t work for her. Plus, she was beyond fed up with the negative self-put down and neglect. That was when she decided that things needed to change in her life. Slowly, over time she began to take care of herself in healthy ways, and before she knew it she was feeling proud of her efforts and good about herself. She was going to the gym regularly and eating healthy, listening to her intuition, and learning to hear what her body was telling her it needed. Overtime, she felt that she was actually being kind and loving to herself. Then, one morning as she sat thinking about everything she was doing, she realized that she was finally making a commitment to herself. No more trying and going through the motions. She told us that by making a decision to allow change into her life, she had helped herself to see that it’s never too late to change. It was the decision to allow change that made change; and that can be done in any moment!
She, no, found that she laughed more and the negative chatter wasn’t quite as loud in her head. For the first time in a long time, she had begun to accept herself, and for the first time she honestly felt self-love. To her that was unbelievably motivating and empowering. When you commit to yourself out of love, you can actually get more of what you want.
So, how do you make a commitment to yourself?
We put together a where to start list, and here’s what we came up with.
- Make time for the things you love. It doesn’t have to be all about the to- do lists or chores that you need to get done. Make a list of things that you love to do and light you up, and find time to incorporate them into your daily Value yourself above others, because you matter. Remember without physical and emotional well-being your nothing. Commit to applying something fun into your life every day.
- Journaling every day is a great way to ask yourself questions and get to know more of what you want. A good brain dump works wonders when you are feeling stressed or worried. Getting it out onto paper will allow you to let it go and pay attention to what you need. Commit to letting go of stuff.
- Turn your attention inward. Ask yourself every morning, “How do I want to feel today?” Stop and observe as you go about your day. Turn your attention inward and notice how you are feeling. Be honest about your feelings. Remember, it’s ok to feel negative, sit with that feeling and see where it’s coming from, and allow it to pass. Commit to feeling your feelings.
- Meditate, it reduces stress, it helps you focus and improves your relationship with yourself. It reduces blood cortisol which is a stress hormone. It promotes sleep, and if your worrying about anything, the chances are you’ll have difficulty falling asleep. Meditation will make you more connected, to yourself, to other people and to nature. When you focus inward you are giving yourself a beautiful gift, and by doing this maybe you’ll feel more loving, happier and confident. Commit to getting to know you from the inside out.
- How do you care for yourself? Are you eating healthy? Getting enough sleep and exercising regularly? Drinking enough water every day? Are you aware of any negative thoughts and chatter? If so always ask where are it’s coming from? Are those thoughts true? If not, let them go. Commit to your health, mental and physical.
- Commit to being the person that you truly want to be, and live the life that you desire to live. Never stop taking action and going after what you choose, instead of waiting for it show up. Commit to making it happen, and get rid of anything that does not support your growth.
- Surround yourself with people who understand you and are passionate like you are. People who will cheer you on and keep you motivated, especially on those feeling down days. No matter how independent you may be, we all need a support system when things get hard. You probably have, and will hit, a few bumps in the road, emotional ups and downs and a few obstacles. That’s when you need a good few people to support you and lift you up so that you can keep moving forward. Commit to moving forward in life and not looking back.
We agreed that not everything you do in life will feel comfortable. There will always be obstacles, so why not commit to overcome them instead of trying to avoid them. After all, overcoming obstacles is how we grow, and we never want to stop growing. A commitment is an acknowledgment to move yourself forward when you don’t have what you want in life. That’s almost because of your having not committed to yourself. Women, in particular, have a very hard time committing to themselves. Indeed, a lot of women will usually over commit to others before a basic commitment to self! Remember, you have a responsibility to yourself, so put some light back into your life, no more trying ~ commit!
As we get older we want to hang onto what we’ve already got, things that have worked for us in the past, our familiar and comfortable patterns. It’s time to look at what drains you and what replenishes you. Midlife should be your time, so make to rest of your life how you want it to be.
Commit to: Maintaining mental and physical health, great sex, wonderful relationships, finding adventure, friends, fun, laughter, interesting foods, travel, pamper time, self- care, commit to YOU!
Making self-care a priority will take time, planning, and commitment.
What will you do to take care of yourself? If you struggle taking care of yourself in a loving healthy way know that I am here to help you.
“You can change your life at any moment. You just have to be there.”
~ Curly Girl
Diane Morgan works with women who are overwhelmed and torn by the aging process and have a hard time finding themselves and their place in life during and beyond midlife. She is the creator of a powerful transformational program Awaken Your Beauty Inside Out: Fall In Love With The Skin You’re In. This phenomenal program capitalizes on her 20 plus years of experience in the beauty industry and her expertise as a certified Master Empowerment Coach for women.