my client and I were talking about values. She wondered why she had never really thought about them before and incorporated them into her life? She asked me why do values matter?
I explained that the main benefit of knowing your values is that you will gain terrific clarity when it comes to making decisions and taking action. They give us a sense of purpose. Values will help you to improve results in the areas of your life that truly matter to you, as they are things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.
I told her that whether you recognize them or not, values exist. However, life can become much easier when you acknowledge them and make decisions and plans that honor them. Why waste time on things that don’t produce the results that you want. You cannot redo yesterday, but you can invest in your time today, and your future wisely. Remember, decisions that you make are a reflection of your values and beliefs, and they are always directed towards a specific purpose. That purpose is the fulfillment of your needs.
We then determined that her next step was to define her personal values. Discovering your core values will help you to live authentically. Your values show you who you are, not who you think you should be in order to fit in. Values may change as we age, so it is important to always look at them from where you are now, not from the past nor looking to the future.
It was time to go to work. I gave her a pen and note book and had her ask herself:
What is important in your life?
First, I gave my client a long list of words to choose from, she was to pick out any words that intrigued her or excited her, with no judgement. She was to choose the words (values) that are most important to her. The one’s that she believes would define her character. Then, say the word out loud and see how it feels~ does it resonate with her and feel true? I had her select 10 words, then narrow it down to 5-7 core values.
What is paramount, is to make sure that her values spoke to her. They should reflect the priorities for her life and provide guidance for everyday decisions. They should inspire her, uplift her, and provide motivation and encouragement to fulfill her purpose in life. When she found out what her values were, she was to then rank them in order of importance. That way she can create the quality of life that she truly wants.
Next, she was to adopt them, commit to them, and then live them, visibly every day at home and at work. Incorporate them into her life so that she can continue to become the person that she wants to be and keep moving towards her goals and dreams, feeling confident, truthful and authentic.
By choosing your values and knowing them, they can create many benefits, such as:
- Help you to make better decisions
- Provide motivation
- Reduce stress
- Increase joy and happiness in your life
- Help when you feel confused or your struggling
- Help you to connect with the right people that will support you
- Enhance more genuine relationships
- Clarity to create opportunities
a reminder that being mindful will help to bring your values into your life, and that means paying attention and being non-judgmental. When we are living in the moment, we can’t help but notice our true core values, and with that, we can respond to things from our values, rather than our old limited way of thinking.
My client was so excited. She felt that even though she now knew she’d had values, they were truly not her own. They had hindered her in the past, as she felt that she’d never made very good choices especially around money and personal decisions, because she hadn’t ever reflected on who she truly was. Now, she felt that she was ready to let go of things that no longer served her, as she realized that everything she’d ever needed was within her. She knew that there would still be twists and turns along the way but she could incorporate living authentically and have it become part of her daily practice. It was time to live by her own personal truths. Now, she was ready to follow her heart, be herself and shine.
What a great afternoon we had together. I loved watching someone let go of old unwanted beliefs and move into the practice of life with ease and authenticity. Knowing that it is less about the destination but more about the journey of discovering and unfolding new pieces of ourselves as we go, and finding the gift within.
My dad gave me a gift, he told me ‘never have any regrets’, and I know that he never did. So far, I do not as I choose to live by my values.
Values help us to be true to ourselves. They help us to find the courage to be authentic and live life according to our rules.
If you need support and you are ready to shake it up? I would love to help you.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Diane Morgan works with women who are overwhelmed and torn by the aging process and have a hard time finding themselves and their place in life during and beyond midlife. She is the creator of a powerful transformational program Awaken Your Beauty Inside Out: Fall In Love With The Skin You’re In. This phenomenal program capitalizes on her 20 plus years of experience in the beauty industry and her expertise as a certified Master Empowerment Coach for women.